Cancer isn't going to kill him, yet!!

Bill has been to the doctor's 3 time since Jan. 27th. Then on Jan 12th and then again last Tuesday. He had been getting weaker and weaker. After Jan 27th, he only went out a couple of time, as I posted earlier, he "cleaned" off the car and then said he was done. He only got up to go the the bathroom, fish around for something to eat, and to bed. All the rest of the time he spent in his chair.

I'd been noticing this "bump" on the left side of his face. Well, finally at the 27th dr's appointment, he mentioned he felt the swelling in his cheek and that his jaw was numb. The doctor asked how long it had been feeling like that. My wonderful husband said about 2 months. "Oh yeah, I sometimes have this really funny taste in my mouth", he says. I'm thinking great, what now. How can someone, who knows he's ill, not mention this to his doctor. The same doctor who has been bending over backward to get my husband help.

Well, you've never seen a doctor go into superspeed if you haven't seen Dr. Harmon move. He looked into my husband's mouth, even though Bill couldn't open very wide, the next thing I knew we were at the hospital for a CT scan. Good old Bill has an abcess in the back of his mouth on his jawbone. The result of the bone scan, a deep bone infection. An abcess that is about to rupture. An abcess that if broken would kill him because it is poisoning him. Doctor wanted to put him in the hospital that night, we had gone home by then. Bill said no tomorrow I'll go in. Wonder of wonder, he did get admitted. They started an antibiotic infusion immediately. Every 6 hours they were pumping this stuff into his veins. He had a roommate. By the way, when I went to kiss him goodnite, his breath was so BAD (the first I noticed it), it smelled like when my sister had her abcess. I asked him about it and he said, "that's why I haven't been kissing you goodnite. My bad breath." I knew then that this had been going on for like six months. The same amount of time that he's been saying he can't eat cause he couldn't open his mouth.

I knew how bad abcess were. My sister had one on an impacted tooth. The abcess broke and she had to have her stomach pumped out. She was in the hospital for 2 days.

In the mean time, all the while I'm asking myself why he hasn't been telling me that he had this bad taste in his mouth, and why he didn't mention the swelling either. Of course, when I mentioned it, it was all in my head. Now we were waiting for them to transfer him to Boston so they can treat the cancer. He needed to be in hospital so they could treat it as an expedited case. And so that he could get to Boston in an ambulance.

Well they didn't have a bed yet so he'd have to stay in the hospital overnite again. "NO!" was the answer from the "Big man". I want to go home. Well, it's hard. very hard. Did I mention I'm on medicine for high blood pressure. Not 1 med but 2 plus asprin therapy and cholesterol meds, plus pain meds for spondolosis? He was taking only Naproxen and BP med and salt tablets.

Well he signed out. The doctor signed him for outpatient IV drips once a day (a very powerful med). And he's taking 2 different antibiotics (total of 1200 millograms a day). The doctor wan't happy, me either, but at least he is taking the meds and he's going for the IV infusion.

He only want to hear what he wants to hear and nothing else. Last night he told me that it doesn't hurt when he lays on his left side anymore. (DUH!! You never told me it was hurting.!!!!!!!)

What can you do with such a bullheaded person? Love him I guess.

Doctor thinks this bone infection is from the ankolosing spondolosis they have diagnosed him with too. Bone spurs will grow on bones and then can get infected, etc. etc. If you don't treat, infections can occur. WONDERFUL!!

Oh well, if we get to Boston, he'll have to stay in the hospital. It's over 300 miles from home.

Laughing and crying

I'm a follower on Facebook. I have a few friends there and a few family members. I don't write too much information but I do like to see what's going on.

Today I was watching a video from the site (linked from UTube) and it was making me laugh.

My husband yelled at me. He doesn't want to hear me laughing. I'm living in hell.

I'm crying right now because of his harsh words. I know he isn't feeling well. He hasn't been out of the house in over a week. He's very weak.

He told me "don't worry, it won't be long before I'm not here." WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!

I try to never swear, but I am pissed. I can't write anymore right now. Good night.

I don't know if I can go on.

I'm so tired right now. Crying is a constant thing I do. I know I am despressed. My doctor knows I'm depressed.

We've had snow here since last Thursday afternoon. All told, 18 inches or so. I guess it's not too bad considering. We went out to the store early Thursday so we could get home before the storm. It started snowing whilie we were in the crazy grocery store. Everyone was out. Everyone trying to do as we were doing.

Bill is getting weaker by the day. After grocery shopping, he couldn't even lift the groceries into the van. I unloaded the cart. He drove (I'm seriously thinking he should not drive). At home, he couldn't even help carry the groceries into the house. Me and my gimpy leg lifted all 6 bags (recycleable ones). One or two at a time, I brought them to the door stoop. Closed up the van and then took the bags into the house. Up the 7 stairs we have and then into the kitchen to put the stuff away. Bill sat in his chair. He was "all done in".

Friday the storm is not really peaked yet. He decided to go out to clear off some of the snow from the van. Right, he got into the van, started it up, took out the snow brush and tried to swipe at the snow. He used the windshield wipers to get the snow off and promptly broke one. Such a wonderful idea to use the wipers. He came back into the house and couldn't move for hours. I tried to fix him something to eat. He ate a cookie. No SHIT. A cookie!!!! (and only half of that.)

Yesterday, during the storms's height, I went out and started cleaning off the car. My neighbor's son and grandson came out and took over the duties for me. It was really wonderful of them to do that. This morning I looked out and they had shoveled a path to the van and were cleaning it off so that when the plow came in I could move the van. In actuallity, the neighbor moved the van for me. He didn't want to take the chance that I'd fall. Neither did I. I profusely thanked them for all the help they gave me and Bill.

Tonite, Bill fell in the bathroom. He lost his balance. Even though he only weighs 113 lbs, I couldn't lift him. His legs wouldn't hold him up. After about 20 minutes we did maneuver him to the toilet. He's been using my walker at night. But I can't get it in his head that he needs to walk it all the way to his chair. He is bound and determined that he is going to turn it around and back the damn thing into place. It's hard as the walker has wheels on the front. And then he fell again, Between the tv and the storage chest (like a hope chest) that the lamp is on. The tv moved. He was stuck between the two items. He had to "crawl" out like a crab only going forward. It took almost 15 minutes to get him sitting in his chair. A distance of about 3 feet from where he fell.

His doctor sent a card saying he wanted to see him. I'll call for an appointment tomorrow. I can never say anything because Bill will bring the wrath of God on my head.

I'm tired and sore from trying to lift him off the floor. I'll probably take some medication before going to bed. Bill finally went to bed. Now it's my turn.