Day 10

Day 10 for IV infusion. Crabby hubby drove himself today. Reason? Guilt. I'm having bad muscle spasms because of all the driving I've been doing. Really bad muscle cramps in my back, hip and right leg. While he's doing his thing in the hospital, I have to do errands. I have 45 minutes to do it. If I'm late he gets mad. Says I know what time I have to pick him up. Why wasn't I there. He doesn't want to do anything but sit in the house and watch tv. He watches the same things over and over. But anyway, I guess he doesn't trust me enough to go to the store and then come home again. What's he afraid of? Me driving away? HUH!!!

Yesterday was horrorific. He bitched because I got the wrong type of chocolate chip cookie. Okay, so I didn't read the damn label. I just saw 2 cookies that were softer than the one giant cookie. Soft is good for his throat right? What I didn't realize was there was creme between the two cookies.  Before he even opened it, he tossed it at me and said "Here, you eat this shit." Well, I finally read the label and saw the creme. I stomped into the kitchen, seperated the cookies, and scraped off the creme,  I then put them on a piece of paper towel and put them on the table by his side. "Here's your cookie for Ch---'s sake."

I then stomped (yeah like I can stomp with a limp) into my bedroom and semi-slammed the door. Where I proceeded to cry my heart out. I cry easily but after all the shit I've been thru I couldn't take it. I seriously contemplated taking the pills in the new bottle of sleeping meds the doc gave me. I'm not crazy. Just depressed. I didn't of course. But, I will tell the doc about it when I see him next week. Anyway, nothing I do is good enough.

After awhile, I turned on the tv and watched it for about 3 hours. He came to the door, asked if I wanted coffee. I told him to make it. The look on his face was priceless. He was stunned. I was still pissed. Well, wonder of wonders he did make the coffee. he even brought me a cup all fixed like I drink it.

Later, much later, he apologized. He said he didn't want to make me cry. (Right) He hasn't apologized in a long time, so I accepted his apology. I'm still upset, or I wouldn't be writing this. But I guess I'll never forget his tantrum. Well, time for bed.